What A Fine Mess We’ve Gotten Ourselves Into
by Kyrie Sanctus
Summary: A few crazy mishaps lead Jak and Torn to question their manhood, and their feelings toward one another. [JakTorn]
1. Error One

Title _What A Fine Mess We've Gotten Ourselves Into.._

Author _Kyrie-Sanctus_

Rating _PG-13 for cursing and accidental homosexual relations!_

Started _Monday, July 12, 2004._

Chapters _Undecided._

Summary _A few crazy mishaps lead Jak and Torn to question their manhood, and their feelings toward one another. [JakTorn]_

Dedications _I dedicate this to everyone who has reviewed or will review one of my stories in the future. I LOVE CHU ALL!!_

Disclaimers _Jak II es © to el Naughty Dog Inc., and all characters and other mess mentioned belong to them too.. I'm just borrowing them for the time being. If I get locked up in prison, let's just hope that you people enjoy my fanfics while **I **get injected with Dark Eco. ;; I'll suffer with ya, Jak!_

WARNING _YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. OFFICIALLY!! THERE IS CONTENT IN THIS STORY THAT MAY BE UNSUITABLE FOR CHILDREN AND HOMOPHOBES. TURN BACK NOW IF YOU ARE UNFAMILIAR (OR AGAINST) THE NATURE OF A RABID FANGIRL WHO STAYED UP ALL NIGHT SKULLING DIET PEPSI._

If not. Please enjoy.

Error One

It started with a kiss. Not a particularly good kiss. Not a bad one, either. But, it was a kiss, lip to lip, their chins colliding harshly in the fall, and the Second in Command learned what the face of an unshaven teen felt like. It wasn't exactly a good thing. Especially since the only thing Torn could think of at the moment was _Get the fuck off of me, you punk._

It had been a mistake, especially on Daxter's part, who was now staring wide-eyed and about to cry for the fact that he'd forced his best friend's first kiss on him.. And it happened to belong to the 'Tattooed Wonder.' He looked to Jak, whose facial expression mirrored his almost exactly. Except for the fact that his lips were attached to another man's.

This 'mistake,' had been made on the stairs. Jak and Daxter had simply gone outside for a breath of fresh air. Torn was heading out for the same, when the two came jogging back into the Underground headquarters, the younger of the two tripping the taller to send him crashing down on the darker haired elf.

After a moment or two of shock and horror, which to them, was approximately 2.8 seconds, the blond jumped back, wiping his mouth of that of the ex-Krimzon Guard. The man left on the floor did the same, propping himself up on the stair behind him with one arm, and pointing to Jak fiercely with the other, a stern look on his face. "Not a word, you hear me? You tell anyone, and you're _through._"

Jak held up both hands in defeat. It wasn't like he wanted to scar his own pride, and he couldn't give a damn about Torn's. However the tattooed elf turned his attention to Daxter as well. "And you. If you mention anything that happened in this hallway, Tess will be making rat stew for dinner." Daxter nodded, not out of fear for the threat, but, he was still in shock. After all, it _was_ his fault.

Author Note _Chapter one, complete! I know it's short, and actually, all of the chapters are going to be, this is just to sate my JakTorn love while I'm writing my JakErol.. It's gonna be one LONG story. This is really just for laughs anyway. ; I hope you enjoy! Actually, as you're reading this, Chapter 2 is written, I just wanna know what everyone thinks before I post it up. May be today, may be tomorrow, may be never if no one likes this! ;; So please review, okay? Flames will be used to burn Kiera to ashes._


	2. Error Two

Title _What A Fine Mess We've Gotten Ourselves Into.._

Author _Kyrie-Sanctus_

Rating _PG-13 for cursing that might happen in later chapters and accidental homosexual relations!_

Started _Monday, July 12, 2004._

Chapters _Undecided._

Summary _A few crazy mishaps lead Jak and Torn to question their manhood, and their feelings toward one another. [JakTorn]_

Dedications _I dedicate this to everyone who has reviewed or will review one of my stories in the future. I LOVE CHU ALL!!_

Disclaimers _Jak II es © to el Naughty Dog Inc., and all characters and other mess mentioned belong to them too.. I'm just borrowing them for the time being. If I get locked up in prison, let's just hope that you people enjoy my fanfics while **I **get injected with Dark Eco. ;; I'll suffer with ya, Jak!_

WARNING _YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. OFFICIALLY!! THERE IS CONTENT IN THIS STORY THAT MAY BE UNSUITABLE FOR CHILDREN AND HOMOPHOBES. TURN BACK NOW IF YOU ARE UNFAMILIAR (OR AGAINST) THE NATURE OF A RABID FANGIRL WHO STAYED UP ALL NIGHT SKULLING DIET PEPSI._

If not. Please enjoy.

Error Two

The Underground headquarters was quiet. Too quiet, especially for Torn, who'd gotten used to someone barging in on his mental raid every twenty minutes. He tapped his fingers against the war table, eyes of a beautiful and untainted cerulean blue glancing around the room, waiting for something.

Banging his fist to the table, he stood, walking over to the corner of the room. He bent down, grabbing the ring to the trap door which lead to the lower sectors of the headquarters. He stepped down the ladder, pulling the hatch down with him, a bit of dust shaking into his eyes. He ran a match against the wall and lit the lamp beside him, climbing the rest of the way down until he could jump off of the ladder.

The true underground of the Underground wasn't too shabby. He'd done all he could to keep it clean and livable, although there was the constant threat of dust from above. This was probably why he, Jak, Daxter, and the Shadow were the only ones to use the lower facilities.

He sat down in one of the chairs he'd used to furnish the place. It wasn't very good looking, but it was comfortable enough. Propping his feet up on the table in front of him, an action Tess had scolded him about many times, he leaned his head back, keeping his eyes closed to protect them from the debris coming from the ceiling.

[=-=-=-=]

Meanwhile, Jak was in the bathroom, a small room furthest back in the compartment, and the only other room than the kitchen that they could afford a metal roof over, standing in front of the mirror, naked. It wasn't normal of him to do this after a shower, but he was contemplating.

He ran a hand over his chin, raising his eyebrows. He didn't know if he liked it or not. _Should I shave it off? _He asked himself, repeating the same motion as before. In his left hand was a razor. _I'm not really used to it.. But I think it makes me look older.. _Of course, he didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. _Maybe I'll ask someone else's opinion? _He groaned, _It would have to be Daxter though. No one else would care..._

He set the razor down, but continued to weigh the situation in the mirror.

[=-=-=-=]

Torn pushed himself up after about 10 minutes of waiting. Frowning, he started for the bathroom. He needed a shower. He needed a shower _badly_. His pace never dawdling, in one swift movement he had opened the door and stepped into the bathroom.

And right into the vision of a naked Jak.

Both men jumped in surprise at the opening door, the blond beating himself up internally over not locking it before he got in the shower. They stared at each other wide eyed and flush faced. The tattooed elf's lip had twitched out to the side, parted slightly, while the other's jaw had dropped considerably.

"I.. I.. was going to.. ... um.. take.. take a shower." Torn managed to stutter. He didn't know why he was stuttering, but probably it was because this was the second awkward moment he'd had with Jak in two days. He saw him drop the razor in the sink, blink, nod quickly, and jump to grab a towel.

He watched the renegade fumble with the towel, trying to wrap it around himself, nervous hands taking misguided hold on the edges. "I was.. j-j-just getting.. out.." He was so nervous he could hardly formulate the words he was trying to speak, but Torn just nodded to the inaudible blur that he'd just concocted.

"Right, right." He said, stepping in and beginning to remove his boots. Jak moved to shuffle past him, but Torn grabbed his arm. "Jak?" He saw deep blue eyes widen from his reflection in the mirror. "You know." He nodded, and was released, closing the door behind him, hearing it lock almost immediately.

Torn finished undressing and got into the shower, banging his head against the wall repeatedly, trying to bang the image of a naked blond from his memory.

Author Note _This one was a little longer.. nn; Um, okay, please don't kill me. I really am trying to keep them as in-character as I can, but I have to bend it just a little so I can get them together, you know? Besides, this fanfic isn't about romance and fluff and whatnot. It's about.. ran_dumb_nessousity._

And I'm glad Jak decided to keep his soul patch. nu

Anyway, go ahead and review. Bite my head off. Chew on it a little. Leave it for the Metal Heads to play with. I'm pretty sure it would make a fun toy... ... ;x


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